its been 12 days since your birthday... one week since we've been home... and all filled with such wonder and amazement, love and hope. High hopes of who you are, who you'll become, who you look like even... but no matter what, it puts a smile on mommy and daddy's faces, along with everyone else who's come to visit you-- including tai gong, tai pou (both sides!), yeye, mama, aunty celeste, uncle derek (while we were in the hospital), aunty virginia, jeffrey... such a blessing you are.
I am even more excited when grandma tsang and your auntie jen jen and jackie and grandpa tsang come- to see you for the first time! it will be such a great feeling, you know, my mommy, me and you little sofia. :)
The past 11 days I've learned you're a pooping and eating machine! you haven't a schedule yet, but that's okay. Waking up in the middle of the night is not a chore, not easy, but i don't mind. Breastfeeding too, has been an experience, it makes me feel like i am doing something good-- for you, making sure you are well fed with enough nourishment and nutrition to make you grow healthy and strong.
Daddy loves to come home to hang out and play with you as well, though there isn't much to "play" right now, but he has been busy trying to fix our home so that when we finally move home, home, that it'll be perfect for our little family. :) he has been working hard, getting things needed, cleaning up, putting everything into place... i know he loves us very much and i'm extremely thankful for that.
On another note - we have the pui yuet helping out for the next 3 weeks, she started last friday, and we got off on the wrong foot as she said there weren't enough "right clothes" for you-- even though we had enough clothes and she just didn't think they fit you (but they did... no comment from mom o_O) She has experience yes, but at the same time i feel there is something a bit off, but oh well, as long as she is helping mommy cook and get better, and cleaning you a bit (she bathes you, which i wish i could but because i cannot touch tap water right now due to potential arthritis later on...)- i think she wants to be more "hands on" but i guess, i'm just being overprotective in a sense, even though you don't really know any better i guess being you sleep most of the day anyhow. She changes your diaper maybe once or twice a day, and doesn't really feed you but last week mommy did have a slight breakdown. perhaps it's post partum, or the hormones re-working themselves but we went to the hospital last saturday to make sure your jaundice levels were going down so you wouldn't need to do the lights thing, and that saturday oh my, she must've told me about 4xs that i needed to pump so to see how much milk mommy had, and so she could help feed so i wouldn't be so tired. Well, i had charged the battery on friday night, and it said 24 hrs to charge and i guess between her and daddy too also saying that i needed to pump i just started to break down b/c i told them i would pump but had to wait for the battery to finish charging!! (which would be done 9pm sat night)-- oh my, the tears just kept flowing and flowing... because i felt so pressured, but it wasn't really anything looking back... just over, sorry, HYPER-active hormones. i was crying in the hospital, the nurses thought i was just upset over the jaundice issue, little did they know it was something much more minuscule than that!
But anyhow, mommy was glad that your jaundice level dropped to 10.5 on Saturday afternoon (it was 12.2 on Friday when we left the hospital- a 15+ or something and you need to go under the lights); but because your level dropped, you didn't need to go under the lights. :) yay! it was the first goal achieved, mommy was so proud of you :) so i hope your eyesight will be good, since grandma tsang says the lights may damage your eyesight later on... we still let you sleep under teh sun each morning though, since the lights are basically UV lights anyhow... but i was thrilled and so happy and am so proud of you. :) i'm glad you pooped all the bilurubin out. yeah!
The past week has flown by, on Monday, your week birthday i was actually quite sad too, a bit bittersweet- not having you in my tummy, i can honestly say that i miss the belly! i didn't think i would, but i realize that i do. i miss feeling you inside of me, though now you are outside and i can hug and hold you-- that is of course, something wonderful- but just different. I am hoping to avoid post partum depression, as it occurs in a number of women, so hopefully i can remain happy and healthy.
On wednesday, you shot poop at daddy, but nearly missed. it was quite funny, for mommy at least. Your poop is a yellow mustard color- kinda like the "gold" in the crabs... (sorry for lack of better description); it's watery too... you almost actually pooped on mommy and peed while i was changing you- it's like a little fountain! but good to know that i'll never be hit in the eye, like i hear those parents of little boys. :p
You are a good girl... the past two nights have been a bit better, sleeping and waking up are less, about 4-5xs vs the 6-7xs before. So i'm glad we're getting there, slowly but surely. You sleep much better during the day as well, it seems you're more nocturnal... but hopefully this changes after your first month too.
We have everyday to look froward to, but when mommy might have to go back to work, i will be very sad, crying i'm sure... i don't want to leave you with a stranger, as i will worry worry! i am hoping that i can figure a schedule out with daddy so that we can always be around you and not miss you growing up... Grandma Tsang was home with me and my sisters really, what a blessing that was too... again, i hope i can only be the best mommy possible to you so that when you one day, have little babies of your own, you can think back and be thankful, like i am of what i can do for you and that you can do the same for your little ones... someday. But one day at a time. we don't want to skip your growing up or baby years yet! as we'll cherish these memories always...
i love you little girl...
so does daddy. and everyone else around you.
biggest hugs,
love mommy & daddy
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