Day #12 (12/4/09)

Little Sofia,

its been 12 days since your birthday... one week since we've been home... and all filled with such wonder and amazement, love and hope. High hopes of who you are, who you'll become, who you look like even... but no matter what, it puts a smile on mommy and daddy's faces, along with everyone else who's come to visit you-- including tai gong, tai pou (both sides!), yeye, mama, aunty celeste, uncle derek (while we were in the hospital), aunty virginia, jeffrey... such a blessing you are.

I am even more excited when grandma tsang and your auntie jen jen and jackie and grandpa tsang come- to see you for the first time! it will be such a great feeling, you know, my mommy, me and you little sofia. :)

The past 11 days I've learned you're a pooping and eating machine! you haven't a schedule yet, but that's okay. Waking up in the middle of the night is not a chore, not easy, but i don't mind. Breastfeeding too, has been an experience, it makes me feel like i am doing something good-- for you, making sure you are well fed with enough nourishment and nutrition to make you grow healthy and strong.

Daddy loves to come home to hang out and play with you as well, though there isn't much to "play" right now, but he has been busy trying to fix our home so that when we finally move home, home, that it'll be perfect for our little family. :) he has been working hard, getting things needed, cleaning up, putting everything into place... i know he loves us very much and i'm extremely thankful for that.

On another note - we have the pui yuet helping out for the next 3 weeks, she started last friday, and we got off on the wrong foot as she said there weren't enough "right clothes" for you-- even though we had enough clothes and she just didn't think they fit you (but they did... no comment from mom o_O) She has experience yes, but at the same time i feel there is something a bit off, but oh well, as long as she is helping mommy cook and get better, and cleaning you a bit (she bathes you, which i wish i could but because i cannot touch tap water right now due to potential arthritis later on...)- i think she wants to be more "hands on" but i guess, i'm just being overprotective in a sense, even though you don't really know any better i guess being you sleep most of the day anyhow. She changes your diaper maybe once or twice a day, and doesn't really feed you but last week mommy did have a slight breakdown. perhaps it's post partum, or the hormones re-working themselves but we went to the hospital last saturday to make sure your jaundice levels were going down so you wouldn't need to do the lights thing, and that saturday oh my, she must've told me about 4xs that i needed to pump so to see how much milk mommy had, and so she could help feed so i wouldn't be so tired. Well, i had charged the battery on friday night, and it said 24 hrs to charge and i guess between her and daddy too also saying that i needed to pump i just started to break down b/c i told them i would pump but had to wait for the battery to finish charging!! (which would be done 9pm sat night)-- oh my, the tears just kept flowing and flowing... because i felt so pressured, but it wasn't really anything looking back... just over, sorry, HYPER-active hormones. i was crying in the hospital, the nurses thought i was just upset over the jaundice issue, little did they know it was something much more minuscule than that!

But anyhow, mommy was glad that your jaundice level dropped to 10.5 on Saturday afternoon (it was 12.2 on Friday when we left the hospital- a 15+ or something and you need to go under the lights); but because your level dropped, you didn't need to go under the lights. :) yay! it was the first goal achieved, mommy was so proud of you :) so i hope your eyesight will be good, since grandma tsang says the lights may damage your eyesight later on... we still let you sleep under teh sun each morning though, since the lights are basically UV lights anyhow... but i was thrilled and so happy and am so proud of you. :) i'm glad you pooped all the bilurubin out. yeah!

The past week has flown by, on Monday, your week birthday i was actually quite sad too, a bit bittersweet- not having you in my tummy, i can honestly say that i miss the belly! i didn't think i would, but i realize that i do. i miss feeling you inside of me, though now you are outside and i can hug and hold you-- that is of course, something wonderful- but just different. I am hoping to avoid post partum depression, as it occurs in a number of women, so hopefully i can remain happy and healthy.

On wednesday, you shot poop at daddy, but nearly missed. it was quite funny, for mommy at least. Your poop is a yellow mustard color- kinda like the "gold" in the crabs... (sorry for lack of better description); it's watery too... you almost actually pooped on mommy and peed while i was changing you- it's like a little fountain! but good to know that i'll never be hit in the eye, like i hear those parents of little boys. :p

You are a good girl... the past two nights have been a bit better, sleeping and waking up are less, about 4-5xs vs the 6-7xs before. So i'm glad we're getting there, slowly but surely. You sleep much better during the day as well, it seems you're more nocturnal... but hopefully this changes after your first month too.

We have everyday to look froward to, but when mommy might have to go back to work, i will be very sad, crying i'm sure... i don't want to leave you with a stranger, as i will worry worry! i am hoping that i can figure a schedule out with daddy so that we can always be around you and not miss you growing up... Grandma Tsang was home with me and my sisters really, what a blessing that was too... again, i hope i can only be the best mommy possible to you so that when you one day, have little babies of your own, you can think back and be thankful, like i am of what i can do for you and that you can do the same for your little ones... someday. But one day at a time. we don't want to skip your growing up or baby years yet! as we'll cherish these memories always...

i love you little girl...

so does daddy. and everyone else around you.

biggest hugs,

love mommy & daddy

One week ago... 11/22

Wow, the week has gone by so quickly... One week ago, Sunday, I started to bleed- probably around this exact time, 8:45pm. I remember because it was 15 minutes before Twilight was showing on tv. And that was the beginning of when we would finally get to meet you little girl...

All day I was feeling mild to medium cramping. That afternoon daddy and I eve went to Dan Ryans to eat. He had the lunch special - ribs/chicken, clam chowder, and dessert. Mommy had a tuna melt- tuna for maybe the 3rd time for 9 months... Well maybe you didn't like the tuna because you decided it was time. So Sunday night, having not even had dinner, we (including grandma wong) drove to the hospital. Arrived about 9:50pm. Mommy got hooked up to the monitor and by 10:20 we found that they weren't normal/regular contractions but still would be staying in the hospital. We got to see all the rooms since it was fairly empty... And decided on OB13- mommy's lucky #. It even had an extra bed for daddy, which usually doesn't. :) so we got lucky lucky!!

By 10:30pm daddy drove grandma home and by 11:10pm I started feeling contractions more regularly... And 5 minutes apart. By 11:20pm I went back to the labor room to get hooked up to the monitor again and sure enough- they were 5 minutes apart and getting stronger. The strongest are usually about 120-130ish, and I saw they were going up to 90, 100, but still bearable. I called daddy to hurry back and by 11:30 he was back, in time. I was hoping labor would be 3-6 hrs max- as I had always told little girl, but I guess it was not her plan. Being exhausted by 1am, staring at the clock, I was really getting tired from also not eating since 3pm. Contractions were also hitting 120, which was pretty strong, bearable to a certain extent but because i was so tired and hadn't eaten, i figured by 1:30am we should get the epidural, just because i knew we needed to rest for the big labor process/delivery. So by 2am, Dr. Yau came in and administered the epidural. First there was an IV (yuck! needles) and then the epidural. I was shaking b/c it was so cold... It kicked in about 10 minutes later, and i started to feel nothing in regards to contractions, however little Sofia's heartbeat dropped to 73 I remember at one point within those same minutes so we had to turn onto the other side, then turn back to get her heart rate back up... scary. but at least things worked out okay... unfortunately though i'm not sure if the epidural ended up slowing down the entire process because the contractions started slowing down as well from 1.5-2min back up to 5. :(

as we watched the clock tick, the hours go by, every 2 hrs we "topped up" the epidural. it's an interesting sensation, the cold fluid you can feel entering into the tube into your body... being that this was the first ever time i have been admitted to the hospital,, it certainly was a new experience. (thankfully the first time I’ve been admitted to the hospital and for good reason of course!)

so watching the clock go by, but managing to nap about 2 hrs between each top up- i tried to just wait as long as possible between each time to see if the pain would really be as bad as you'd think / or as they show in the movies. I don't really think it was UN-bearable, but it wasn't comfortable that's for sure. i'm glad i did get the epidural after all.

at around 6:15am i heard a "pop pop pop" and though okay, either i just farted or my water broke. And sure enough, my water did break. They take a swab and swipe to see if it changes color... if it does, sure enough your water did break. Yes!! i was thinking, progress!!! but not really.

By 7am (11 to 7 = 8 hrs elapsed), i was still only 5-6cm dialated... oh but quite "funny"- as 7am a lady checked in also in labor, and apparently did not have an epidural... b/c she was breathing in the pain gas (can't remember what it's called) and when she finally started to go into labor was SCREAMING " Jiu wo!! Hao tong ah!" ...yes, really, no epidural. Entertaining a bit, sadly.

By 9am (11 to 9 = 10 hrs elapsed), i was 7 cm dialated... and Dr. tsai came to visit. He said that although i was dialated, little girl's head hadn't come down yet and was still floating around, not in my pelvis. He said we should wait till lunchtime to see, otherwise there may be swelling in her head and we'd need an emergency c section. I was a bit disappointed, but also accepting, as long as I could breastfeed immediately afterwards, which he said I could. Also we asked that knowing, with c sec, you can't have too many kids due to the scars on the uterus-- and he said yes, prob only 2-3 kids max... At least the bf part was okay... but i was still praying that her little head would drop into place for a vbirth. Oh, and i wasn't able to eat anymore. Mind you, I hadn't eaten since 3pm the prior day... over 18 hrs ago. at one point i asked daddy to sneak me a dried apricot, an almond and a raisin, but oops, those came right back up and I started to vomit and vomit some more... poor daddy said, he started to cry b/c i looked horrible. Oh well. guess I shouldn't have eaten as the dr ordered! (but i was REALLY hungry!). They even gave me some Zantac i think, but eh, that came up too.

By 11am (11 to 11 = 12 hrs elapsed), well, i was finally 8-9cm, but still no sign of her head... so the Dr started to make phone calls to prepare for an emergency c sec by 1pm. He tried to get us in earlier however the anesthesiologist, Dr. Yau was not available till then. I was worried but at the same time, just ready to meet our little girl. I think I was also so tired and exhausted from no food that it didn't matter anymore. As long as she came out healthy and strong, that's what was most important.

Catheter (not very pleasant but thanks to the epidural i couldn't feel it), shaved, and prepped for the OR, I was wheeled down to the first floor slightly before 1pm. I was checked once more prior the operation (sounds scary really) began, but still no progress... so off we were.

Dr. Yau used the epidural to add more, stronger drugs, so the entire bottom half of my body was numb. I felt like a tree/ log... because i couldn't move anything. It kicked in at about 1:10 and by 1:15 Dr. Tsai was starting to cut his way into getting little girl out. It's a very strange sensation... being tugged, pulled, moved around yet not really knowing what's going on. It doesn't hurt at all, nor was i nervous, perhaps because I really was just that exhausted and couldn't wait till the little girl finally was here. At one point daddy was able to stand up and look over the curtain but he doesn't really remember what he saw. Perhaps he blocked it out of his mind, or was just focused on that instant our little Sofia Michael made her entrance into the world- During the operation I actually was looking up at the reflection in the lights to see if i could see what the dr was doing, but all i saw was a blur... not too much blood it seemed, I wonder how many layers the dr had to cut thru to get to little girl...

And at 13:28, (1:28pm), November 23rd, Monday, 2009. ~7lbs and 11 oz (3.49kg) and 50cm (19.7") tal, Little Sofia Michael Wong- you were born.

You actually weren't chunky like we had expected from the 4d scans, instead was long and lean, and your fingers and toes too, just as long. Reminded me of when I was born, mom (grandma tsang) said that my fingers were long people were making comments on how i would play piano well... well, sure enough, i'm sure our little girl, Sofia, you too, will be good at piano-- as soon as mommy can start teaching you! :)

Daddy recorded your first moments, your first cry, cutting the umbilical cord... it's such an amazing thing, i don't know how you managed to be squished inside, but you were... i wish actually i could go back in time already (i'm writing this actually late, 12/1 today), and i know that what's in store for us, our future together as a new family, will go by even faster. Everyday is such a blessing, we much cherish and be grateful... for our health, happiness and our loved ones.

Dr. Yau took some pictures of us as a family... our first photos. :) Mommy was crying of happiness, of course. I got to hold you for a bit and then Daddy went with you up to get cleaned up while mommy finished getting stitched up... i was so tired... unfortunately i had to wait awhile before headed back up to the 2nd floor, it seemed like a long time, but probably was only 10 minutes... either way my feet were getting antsy, like i wanted to move them but couldn't... But by the time I got back to our room, they were moving again slightly-- which was around 2:15pm. I asked to see you asap and by 2:30 i was able to feed you. Yay! What a good girl you were too, latching immediately... though I knew you would want to eat, since that really was on mommy's list... "likes to eat". ;)

The rest of the afternoon seemed like a blur... all i knew though was that i needed to feed you as much possible to get all the bilurubin out of your system so that you wouldn't have jaundice and need to have lights, since grandma tsang said that might damage your eyesight later on... my goal was for you to poop poop and poop some more... and that you did. Little girl, you are the eating and pooping champ!! :) it makes me happy to see you eat though, that i am doing something right, and helping you get stronger and healthier everyday. I mad you a promise a long time ago little girl-- back when you started your journey... I promise to take care of you always.

***

We were in the hospital from Sunday night until Friday afternoon... each day seemed to fly by, looking forward to what to eat (the ginger pumpkin soup is quite good, as is the veg spaghetti bolognese)... the veg food is actually not bad at the hospital! I couldn't type on blackberry the first few days either... my eyes were so tired i just tried to rest.

About every 3 hrs, the little girl would come visit for her feeding, and by Wednesday, we had you stay with us most of the day.

Daddy stayed with mommy and you in the hospital too, everyday and every night, which was really nice. Daddy has been so wonderful to mommy, and to you... he is such a wonderful husband and father. :)

The only bad thing about the hospital was that i used tap water to wash my hands, i hadn't showered properly (yes i smelled), nor had i washed my hair... because the chinese thing is to not wash with tap, due to possible arthritis later on in life. (Now, i didn't know this, until we came home, and my joints in my fingers (knuckles) started to ache and the pui yuet told me that it's because the water is not good. So now mommy has to bathe with ginger boiled water everyday.)

By Friday everything looked okay- the only thing was that we needed to bring you back to the hospital on Saturday to check your jaundice level again, because the 6th day is the highest typically... but aside from that, mommy looked good and so did you. So by 4:30pm, we left the hospital and were on the way home... well, close. We needed to stay at grandma/pa wong's house first because they're still doing the construction upstairs. I'm not sure how much/loud it still is, but hopefully they're done soon... Very exciting, but also not very, since it wasn't really "home" yet. when we finally are "home home", then i will be really excited i think, to finally start to settle down into our "home" and start our little family. Mommy Daddy and you, little Sofia Michael.

***

Looking back, it's okay that we had a c section vs. v-birth... things always work out in the end. I am concerned for your little brother(s) and sister(s), but i'm sure things will be okay. The scar is about 6" long, it's a sort-of-smile, a "bikini" cut as they call it, at least it's not a vertical one! And although there was bleeding, soreness and some pain, it wasn't anything I couldn't handle. Dr. Yau gave me some strong pain killers, also administered thru the epidural which lasted 15 hrs before he took it out, which was nice, and then after that they gave me some suppository, which also was ok. Then by Thursday they just gave me oral pain killers but to be honest I don't think they worked. I got some to bring home as well, but yes, those didn't really work either and i didn't want to eat so many as i don't want them to affect the milk either. So mommy stopped taking them after 2 days.

Also, even though our plans didn't go accordingly, you realize that it doesn't matter. C section or not, as long as our little girl is safe and sound, healthy and happy-- this is the ultimate beauty of life... the cycle, the love... and when you look at their little angel face, nothing else matters.

***

12/1 .. .December already?!

It’s been amazing the past 8 days to see this little person grow and do new things… she’s learned to “fake cry” for attention and also today has learned to stick fingers into her mouth. I think she probably would’ve done it sooner had we not had her mittens on… but regardless, she is such an angel… we couldn’t be any more blessed…

I am actually already thinking about how she won't stay small forever and am a bit sad, but am looking forward to seeing this little girl grow and develop into a personality and character of her own... seeing just *how many* of those things on mommy's list come true. :)

and yes, she's a scorpio/sagittarius cusp. ;)

we love you so very very much little girl, and we are so unbelievably and words-cannot-describe- how happy we are.

love mommy and daddy.

Lazy Saturday

Today was a lazy saturday, just bumming it at home... luckily the renovation upstairs wasn't noisy at all! thank goodness, so that was really quite nice. We had some things done to the flat today- shelves installed, touch-ups to the spider cracks, nothing too major. it's been nice too, now that we have screens on the windows. :) no bugs!

Daddy also set up your crib today! It's nice... I don't think i'm going to wash everything yet though since it will get dusty since you're going to sleep in the playard bassinet for the first few months... but i think we're just about really ready little Sofia!

Maybe tomorrow? ;)

big hugs & kisses, love mommy & daddy

i heart being pregnant.

really i do. :)

haha. ahhh my little girl...

Yesterday we went to see dr.tsai... being 41 weeks now, we have to be a bit careful since you are "late" according to the 'LMP' of 2/5/09. I think you're fine, and on your own timeline... so mommy isn't worrying. But there is an expiration date of the placenta, so we do need to be careful the dr says. Usually about 2 wks is the "threshold".

So yesterday's appointment was okay, nothing out of the ordinary. You still look good and healthy! But the dr did say your head is not yet engaged-- meaning that you're still floating around and your head isn't in mommy's pelvis yet. We also did do a non-stress test, just to be sure. That was interesting. We went up to the maternity ward and mommy and you were monitored for 1/2 hr... to check your heartbeat and to see when you're moving or if it got faster, if your heartbeat did the same. So everything is okay! But we did need to come up with a "plan"... if you decide that you're still quite comfy inside as of next week...

Sooooooo. if by Tuesday you still have decided mommy's tummy is good and cozy, we might need to look into inducing you. Of course mommy doesn't really want to use the pitocin to make you come out, but that doesn't guarantee you will. Pitocin mimmicks the act of natural labor, with the contractions, but if your head does or doesn't move into mommy's pelvis is another story. I think you will be okay, and eventually when your day is here, then you will... it's just a matter of time. I do hope though in the next few days so we don't need to go through all that trouble!

Otherwise, if by next wed/thurs the pitocin doesn't work, we might have to just do a c section, which is the last last resort... mommy prefers a natural birth, but i guess if it doesn't work it doesn't work. As long as you're healthy, that's most important!

Grandma Tsang said to massage the pinky toes- since this correlates to the uterus in re: accupressure points. We did that the past two nights and it seems to be working, with some more mild cramping... so we'll continue to do that tonight and tmrw... until you are here. :) I don't particularly feel like we're in a rush, though there are MANY many people waiting for you! I know that whatever day you decide on little Sofia, will be the right day for you- your birthday.

Speaking of birthdays...

yesterday was actually grandma wong's birthday and great grandma wong's lunar birthday so we went to yan to heen at the intercon to celebrate. It was yummy, as usual. :) We had eggplant, since mommy read somewhere that eggplant parmesean helps with labor- missing the italian portion of the parmesean, but yummy nonetheless. Mommy actually never ate eggplant until she met daddy.

Then today was grandma wong's lunar birthday so we went to have dinner at Mistral. Eggplant parmesean- Score! it was yummy too. We also had 4 cheese pizza but didn't finish. That's for tmrw lunch. :)

Mommy also took a 1 hr walk this afternoon and also had tofufa. So hopefully *something* of the above will help prepare for you to come out! We'll also soak our feet tonight and massage our pinky toes. I do feel more contractions and cramping today too... so hopefully we're getting close!

Mommy & Daddy love you... gonna go for a walk now to see if that helps. plus it's not as cold today and there's a bit of sunshine... just like you. our sunshine. :)

hugs & kisses all around.

love mommy & daddy.

"What're we going to do tonight Brain?"

"... what we do every night Pinky... try to take over the world!"

This reminds me a bit of what we're doing now... waiting... everyday, maybe tonight, maybe tomorrow. but the same thing... for the past week+? haha. well, tomorrow will be 41 weeks! That means that little Sofia, you will be 1 week late (unless you decide to come out today, 11/18, being 40w+6d). Though tmrw is your grandma's birthday and also your great grandmothers birthday (based on lunar calendar for g-gma)... maybe you want to wait till then? Though I was hoping you'd have your own birthday... For sure now though, you will be a scorpio-sagittarius cusp, which is nice, since Sagittariuses are fun, firey, and mommy's best gf from college is actually a Sag. so we'll see.

Last night mommy couldn't sleep so well, even though I took an earlier nap- noon-3pm... still couldn't fall asleep till about 2am. My tummy is hurting too, and today feels quite stretching, like "jeurng"... i wonder if you're still growing, or if it's hopefully getting closer and closer. Only time will tell i guess. Patience, if anything, is the first lesson mommy is learning from you, and I'm sure there will be a lifetime more things and lessons you will teach both mommy and daddy. :)

Anyhow, the weather is getting colder here in HK... it's about 11 degrees today which is about 50; doesn't sound too cold, but it is gloomy. no sun. and wind. So it feels more like 40. but it's ok, as long as we don't get sick! B/c the crisp air and cold weather is a wonderful change from the hot and humid summer here. So i'd take this weather anyday... just need to bundle up some more and wear more layers! :)

Daddy cleaned up the box that was sitting in your crib area finally last night too... I think he found a lot of stuff and threw it out, kept it, whatever... but i think it was nice for him to go through, keepsakes. He found a journal he wrote from his post grad HS trip to europe, which basically was him high the entire time. I don't think you should read it until you grow up but it's quite funny.

Hopefully we can make your crib by this weekend... hopefully you too, decide to come out by this weekend! We know you will choose your day wisely... and a happy day it will surely be.

we love you little girl... hope you're staying healthy, happy, strong, and beautiful...

big hugs and kisses love mommy & daddy

40weeks + 3 days... & counting.

Mommy woke up this morning with some cramping... I thought it was a good sign, being that it was 3 more medium cramping feelings, which all came it seemed like in waves. But then I had to wake up to go to the bathroom, and then they stopped. oops. Oh well.

Aside from the semi excitement of the more medium cramping, this morning didn't start off so good... USC lost, and lost horribly to Stanford. What a football season it's been. blah... 3 losses this season... so much for Pac-10 this year!

Anyhow, we went to see Dr. Chow this morning. Unfortunately she won't help deliver you since Dr. Tsai it back. Bummer. I see why though, of course. But as we said, at least we got to meet a new doctor, a lady- and willl definitely see her for your little brother/sister next time. :) It's too bad b/c I really did quite like her! Anyhow, she was surprised to see us, as she said "oh i thought you knew dr. tsai is back", and of course, i did. but oh well.

So your legs aren't growing anymore, but your tummy is! the ultrasound is showing you are 8lbs 6-9oz! that is big little girl! i hope that u/s is wrong! but mommy will still be brave, and you should be too-- we're going to get through this together... just like you know mommy will always be here for you, and we'll get through everything together, as a family. :)

I read that when a baby enters into the world, it produces more stress chemicals than any other time in life... no wonder you don't want to come out. When you finally get big enough though we'll get you some cortitrol, which should help! (something grandma tsang will tell you ALL about!)

But yes, we had fatburger today after visiting the dr's. yummy. and then went to buy a heater since mommy thinks the winter is going to be quite cold this year... and then we went to intercon with the family & had dim sum after that haha. But mommy was very tired, so we ended up coming home and sleeping from like 3:30-7:30pm! daddy was playing FIFA 10 all afternoon....

then we went to eat dinner.... japanese on the other side of meifoo. it's nice to walk, but there's fuzzy rain tonight, but still nothing too hard where we couldn't walk.

So i guess we're still playing the waiting game... mommy hopes you're a scorpio/sagitarius cusp... since cusp kids are great (of course mommy is biased), plus mommy gets along with sagitarius'es... like auntie kimmy!

But most importantly, no matter when you decide to come meet us finally, we hope you are healthy, happy, and beautiful.

We love you little Sofia Michael.

mommy & daddy

Fashionably Late.

So I guess little girl, you're pretty comfy in there! today is 40w + 1 day. I guess we'll keep counting now! About 50% of first babies are late though, apparently mommy was 1 week late! Though I hope you don't follow in my footsteps and decide to wait until the end of next week!

Daddy and I are taking walks to see if that helps... though, you are getting quite heavy! Tomorrow we'll go see the dr. in the morning, to see what she says. As long as you're healthy, with enough fluids and food, then that at least is safe and okay. :)

Mommy is quite tired these days, perhaps trying to get enough sleep to prepare for your big arrival! So rest, rest, rest... and rest some more for us.

We'll keep hoping to meet you soon little Sofia!

love mommy & daddy.